Let's All Hate on the New Cadillac Escalade!

Images courtesy Cadillac

In case you're living under a rock and didn't get hit by the media firestorm, Cadillac is showing off the next generation of the Escalade SUV, which will be a 2015 model. I've actually had a pulse on this one for a while, not because I'm a big Cadillac fan, but because it's an important model in the automotive industry. After all, this truck will star in no less than 577 rap videos, usually with 28-inch chrome spinners installed.

I remember when Cadillac first announced it was making the Escalade. I heard from it from my college marketing professor, who said it was the best way to be obnoxious  toward everyone else on the road. He literally leaned on all of his marketing knowledge to conclude before the SUV ever hit showroom floors it would be piloted by overly aggressive individuals stilting in a most ostentatious act of conspicuous consumption.

The first time I saw spinners they were on an Escalade, of course. When I finally saw the interior of the Escalade I was shocked since it was nearly identical to a top-of-the-line Chevy Suburban. It was then that I realized the Escalade was the biggest joke GM, the great killer of car companies, ever played on the public.

Now GM has a chance to redeem itself. It's put out an impressively advanced Corvette, the Cruze, and some other compelling vehicles. Some of the rumors I heard stated the new Escalade would have less bling and more luxury on the interior. From the pictures, the interior does look more luxurious, which shouldn't be a surprise considering the cabins in the ATS and XTS.

Sadly, the Escalade still is a bling monster, but I suppose people buy it for that reason. So let's all hate on the Escalade because it's pretty senseless and potentially morally bankrupt. In a way it reminds me of the annoying kid in school who's always showing up with the latest in flashy gizmos, but everyone still makes fun of him. Part of you feels sorry for him, but another part of you finds him so damn annoying you still point a finger and laugh.

I Think I'm in Love With the New Cadillac CTS

2014 Cadillac CTS. Photo courtesy General Motors

In case you have been locked in a closet or was lost in the woods for the past week, the New York Auto Show has been going on and quite a few great cars have been revealed. I have to say that I was totally shocked when I saw the 2014 Cadillac CTS Revealed.

Before I say anything else, in the interest of full disclosure I will admit I'm not a huge Cadillac fan. It's not that I think the company doesn't produce some nice cars but it's more about aesthetics and my philosophies on conspicuous consumption. The first time I saw an Escalade was in a college marketing course. I was complete repulsed by the pure bling of the thing.  When I saw one in person I quickly realized it was just a slightly modified Suburban, adding to my distaste for it.

I had heard that Cadillac was going in a new design direction that involved "cleaning up" the old design language. Cleaning up is putting it lightly. Cadillac dumped all the bling crap and the sharp corners galore found on the CTS and instead went for cleaner lines and a subdued grace that makes the car look higher class and more dangerous, yet it's still recognizable as a Cadillac.

And now I find myself in the strange situation where I am falling in love with a Cadillac sedan. Am I really that old or is Cadillac striking out in a brave new direction? Technically by some people's definition I could be classified as a member of Gen Y, so I think it's more of the latter. In my opinion Cadillac really is going to pose a threat to the big German three luxury automakers, which I say is a good thing mostly because BMW has gotten sloppy with its designs (other than the 6-Series, which I just love the look of). Maybe Cadillac will shake the Bavarian out of its deep design slumber, but then again if Cadillac keeps improving their cars in this direction I might not care.

The New Mercedes S-Class Will Make You Feel Like You Went to Automotive Heaven

2014 Mercedes-Benz S-Class interior. Photo courtesy Daimler

Have you seen the photos of the exterior of the new Mercedes-Benz S-Class Exterior? Mercedes has been putting out some great designs lately and the new S-Class is no exception. As can be expected with the flagship sedan, the S-Class delivers a plethora of creature comforts and snazzy new technology that will keep everyone who drives or rides in the car satisfied in just about every way imaginable.

Mercedes is calling the new S-Class "The Essence of Luxury" as part of its marketing campaign. All I know is I wouldn't mind spending an afternoon rolling around in one, even being driven around by some guy named Alfred or something like that. The car's seats will massage and warm you and they are not just ventilated but also feature a reverse ventilation feature which draws in cool air in the car's cabin to cool off hot seats. And buyers get five different choices for backseats, including an Executive seat that can recline back as much as 43.5 degrees!

The 2014 S-Class will also come with an optional perfuming feature that allows the driver or passengers the ability to release a perfume into the car's cabin to cover up unpleasant smells. Apparently the perfuming system's controls allows you to change the perfume's intensity for those extra bad smells.

What if the passengers want to all watch different things on the car's entertainment system? Mercedes has thought of that quandary and has outfitted the S-Class with the ability to stream different entertainment features to each of the DVD screens. So you can watch The Hangover while the other backseat passenger goes shoe shopping while you're stuck in rush hour traffic. Well done, Mercedes, well done...

The 2014 BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo: An Economy Car Redesigned

BMW has been playing with a version of their sedans, what they're calling a "GT" or "Gran Turismo." First there was the 5-Series Gran Turismo, which looks and drives like a 5-Series with a bloated rear end. Honda copied the idea with its Crosstour (it used to be the Accord Crosstour, but that was changed).



Nobody was surprised when BMW revealed the 3-Series Gran Turismo, but one thing that's buzzing on car enthusiast sites is just how much it looks like the 2003 Hyundai Elantra GT. Critics are having a heyday with this, meanwhile many a BMW faithful is hiding his face with shame. I remember back in the 90s BMW had some of the best designs around, but for the past ten years or so they have been more hit-and-miss. I think the 6-Series lineup may be the only thing that's redeeming the Bavarian's designs at the moment.

Do you think there's a resemblance between the Hyundai and the Bimmer? 

Entertaining Video of the Day: Guy in a Honda Has a Cargasm Over Three C7 Corvettes

2014 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray. Photo courtesy General Motors.

The new C7 Corvette is picking up quite a bit of interest, both inside and outside the automotive world. Anyone who knows the difference between a wrench and their stick shift can tell a new generation of Corvette is a big deal.

And the C7 is a big deal, with numerous improvements over the C6. Of course, most people don't worry too much about what's under the skin of the new 'Vette, getting all hot and bothered over those new chiseled looks.



I'll be honest, the first time I see a C7 on the road I will be giving it a long hard look. The guy in the video below, who is riding in a late 90s Honda (either a Civic or Accord) doesn't just stare at three C7s on the road, but he makes the female driving the car stalk them as he has a cargasmic episode in the passenger seat. The best part of the video, by far, is the cheesy heavy metal music playing as a soundtrack (with lyrics about jumping on a tiger and whatnot). As the guy approaches the Corvettes once they're parked you can tell he's wobbly-legged and tongue-tied. Honestly, it's worth three minutes of your time.

Enjoy the video here:

The C7 Corvette is Born!

The 2014 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray

Unless you've been living in a cave, then you know that General Motors has been cooking up the new generation Corvette, which was revealed this past Sunday evening. It's easily one of the most anticipated model releases of the year, bringing quite a bit of pressure for the huge automaker that has been lambasted by media outlets and the public in general for its reliance on a government bailout (and not to mention a sleuth of sub-par vehicles such as the horribly regrettable Chevy Aveo).

GM drops the Corvette's iconic round tail lights!

GM is calling the new Corvette a Stingray. I'm a huge fan of the old Stingray Corvettes, but quite frankly I don't see any tie between the C7 and the Stingrays of old. Styling-wise, the C7 reminds me of an interesting twist between the current-gen Camaro, the Ferrari FF and the SRT Viper. I'm still trying to decide if this is a good thing (for the record, my wife likes the design). Admittedly, I think companies such as Mercedes-Benz, Audi and Porsche are kicking out some much cleaner and visually-appealing designs, but I digress.

I'm not seeing the Stingray resemblance, but maybe that's just me.

On the other hand, technologically speaking the 2014 Corvette sounds compelling. Corvettes have almost always put up some blistering numbers for a budget price (I'll try to forget about that brief time in the 80s when performance was more lukewarm). This new generation of Corvette gives the car a quantum leap into the bold new automotive future. GM engineered a new engine for the 'Vette, the LT1, which produces a walloping 450 horsepower and 450 pound-foot of torque, rocketing the car from 0 to 60 MPH in under four seconds! That's fast, folks! 

The new Stingray fender badge

In all honesty, the weak point of the Corvette--at least since the C4--has been the interior. 'Vette interiors feel cheap, like something you would expect more on the inside of the Malibu or some other lesser model. GM is claiming the 2014 Chevrolet Corvette will change that for good. The interior will feature real carbon fiber accents, a higher-grade leather and seats with a lightweight magnesium frame.

The new interior makes use of real carbon fiber

GM has helped the Corvette shed some of its curb weight, taking the car down to  pounds. This has been accomplished with the use of materials such as carbon fiber and magnesium throughout the car. The reduced weight translates into not only a faster vehicle, but also better fuel economy. Official fuel mileage figures for the 2014 Corvette are not available yet, but GM expects them to well exceed the 26 MPG highway rating for the C6.

I'm a leather snob, so I'll wait to see how nice these feel

Does this mean the Corvette will finally be able to corner with the best of them? Can it stick to the corners like a 911 Carrera 4 or M3? Personally I doubt it, but I'll reserve final judgment until I get behind the wheel of one (and I'll post a video of it, for sure). 

The question every auto enthusiast wants to know is what are the high performance versions of the new Stingray Corvette going to be like? The ZO6 and ZR1 offered considerably improved performance over the base C6, so what does GM have in store for the C7 Corvette? One's imagination could run wild, and for now that will have to do. Enjoy the pictures and let me know below what you think of the new Corvette.